Marriage: Finding a Companion for Life

Proverbs 18:22; 31:12
      Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD…She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

C. H. SPURGEON (1834-1892): Marriage is nearly the most important event in our lives; it has almost everything to do with our future careers. So many interests are bound up in it, in the days to come it may bring us so much happiness or it may cause us so much sorrow, that we cannot plead too earnestly for the Lord’s guidance and blessing upon everything connected with it.

GEORGE MÜLLER (1805-1898): To enter upon the marriage union is one of the most deeply important events of life. It cannot be too prayerfully treated. Our happiness, our usefulness, our living for God or for ourselves afterwards, are often most intimately connected with our choice.

C. H. SPURGEON: Once married, it is for better or worse, forever. Don’t be in a hurry to tie what you cannot untie―Many are caught in a marriage which he never intended, which turns out a life-long bondage.

MATTHEW HENRY (1662-1714): A good wife is a great blessing to a man. He that finds a wife―that is, a wife indeed; a bad wife does not deserve to be called by a name of so much honour―[he] that finds a help meet for him, that is, a wife in the original acceptation of the word―that sought such a one with care and prayer and has found what he sought, he has found a good thing, a jewel of great value, a rare jewel; he has found that which will not only contribute more than any thing to his comfort in this life, but will forward him in the way to heaven…for this, therefore, God must be sought unto.

JOHN NEWTON (1725-1807): But the marriage state when entered into without a regard to God, to the rules of His Word, and dependence upon His blessing, is seldom productive of an abiding union of hearts; and if this be wanting, the case of either party may be compared to that of a dislocated limb, which is indeed still united to the body, but, not being in its proper place and connection, is useless and painful itself, and the cause of pain and uneasiness to the whole body.

J. C. RYLE (1816-1900): In no relation is so much earthly happiness to be found, if it be entered upon discreetly, advisedly, and in the fear of God. In none is so much misery seen to follow, if it be taken in hand unadvisedly, lightly, wantonly, and without thought.

GEORGE MÜLLER: Therefore, in the most prayerful manner, this choice should be made. Neither beauty, nor age, nor money, nor mental powers, should be that which prompts the decision; but 1st, much waiting upon God for guidance should be used; 2nd, A hearty purpose to be willing to be guided by Him should be aimed after.

SAMUEL BOLTON (1606-1654): Let thy choice be in the Lord, 1 Corinthians 7:39. Let piety be the first mover of thine affection, the prime and principle consideration in this greatest affair.

C. H. SPURGEON: Don’t be fooled by a pretty face; look for character and grace. Mere bodily beauty is like an almanac: if it lasts a year it is well…The wife that loves the looking-glass [often] hates the saucepan.

MATTHEW POOLE (1624-1679): Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised, Proverbs 31:30. [Beauty] is deceitful; partly, because it gives a false representation of the person; partly because it doth not give man that content and satisfaction which at first view he promised to himself from it; and partly, because it is soon lost, not only by death, but by many diseases and contingencies.

MATTHEW HENRY: It has deceived many a man who has made his choice of a wife by it. There may be an impure deformed soul lodged in a comely and beautiful body…But the fear of God reigning in the heart is the beauty of the soul; it recommends those that have it to the favour of God, and is, in His sight, of great price; it will last forever.

THOMAS FULLER (1608-1661): Choose a wife rather by your ear than your eye.

CHARLES BRIDGES (1794-1869): There may be godliness on both sides, without that mutual fitness which makes the woman “a helpmeet for the man.”

GEORGE MÜLLER: True godliness, without a shadow of doubt, should be the first and absolutely needful qualification to a Christian with regard to a companion for life. In addition to this, however, it ought to be, at the same time, calmly and patiently weighed, whether, in other respects, there is a suitableness. For instance, for an educated man to choose an entirely uneducated woman, is unwise; for however much on his part love might be willing to cover the defect, it will work very unhappily.

C. H. SPURGEON: He who marries a fool, is a fool. He did not use sufficient discretion and discernment. However, fool or no fool, he is in for it for life, and must bear the consequences…When the draper’s bill drains his pocket, the poor man thinks more than he dares to say. The arithmetic of a good wife is very different. She adds to his happiness, subtracts from his cares, multiplies his joys, divides his sorrows, and practices reduction in the expenditure of his household.

JOHN NEWTON (1725-1807): Even the marriages of those who come together, and live together, in the fear of the Lord, are subject to heavy taxes; doubled in wedlock, and frequently multiplied in children, they have a larger share of cares, duties, and anxieties, than those who live single; yet they are comparatively happy. And, I think, all things considered, they have the most favoured lot. They love the Lord, they seek His presence and blessing, and they do not seek in vain. They love each other, they have one faith, one aim, one hope. Their mutual affection, intimacy, and perfect confidence, greatly enhance the value and relish of the comforts in which they participate, and alleviate the weight of their burdens and trials. Love sweetens labour, and blunts the sting of sorrow. The vicissitudes of life give energy to prayer; and repeated supports and deliverances, in answer to prayer, afford new motives and causes for praise and thanksgiving.

RICHARD BAXTER (1615-1691): It is a mercy to have a faithful friend that loveth you entirely to whom you may open your mind and communicate your affairs. And it is a mercy to have so near a friend to be a helper to your soul and to stir up in you the grace of God.

MATTHEW HENRY: God is to be acknowledged in it with thankfulness; it is a token of His favour.

JOHN NEWTON: No one has more reason to speak with thankfulness and satisfaction of the marriage state than myself. It has been, and is, to me, the best and dearest of temporal blessings…But now, shall I tell you what see when I take a review of past times? Forgetful as I am, I can recollect innumerable instances of the Lord’s mercy. We set out in life like two strangers who had a wilderness before them, and knew not a single step of the way; but, oh! how wonderfully has He led us!―When I look back upon my past life, and look around in the world, I mean especially as a husband, I cannot but say [that] my lot in life has been most happy.


This entry was posted in Marriage, Women, Husbands & Wives and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply