Deuteronomy 6:4-7; Psalm 78:4-7; Ephesians 6:4—Colossians 3:21
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Shewing to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments.
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord—Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
G. CAMPBELL MORGAN (1863-1945): The responsibility of parents is referred to only with regard to the father. Thus the apostle emphasized that the chief responsibility for training a child should rest with the father.
GEORGE SWINNOCK (1627-1673): Thy duty is to acquaint thy children with the works of God. Teach them His doings, as well as His sayings. “Take heed to thyself, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons’ sons,” Deuteronomy 4:9. God’s wonders should be had in everlasting remembrance. “He hath made his wonderful works to be remembered,” Psalm 111:4.
JOHN GILL (1697-1771): “Bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord;” instructing them in the knowledge of divine things, setting them good examples, taking care to prevent their falling into bad company, praying with them, and for them, bringing them into the house of God to attend public worship; all which, under a divine blessing, may be very useful to them; the example of Abraham is worthy of imitation, Genesis 18:19, and the advice of the wise man deserves attention, Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
JOHN WESLEY (1703-1791): Bring them up with tenderness and mildness, in the instruction and discipline of the Lord—both in Christian knowledge and practice. “Provoke not your children to wrath.” Fathers are named, as being more apt to be stern and severe.
ALEXANDER WHYTE (1836-1921): One would think that if there was any one of the near relationships of human life more than another that would of itself absolutely secure kindness, and tenderness, and affability, and love, it would be that of a father. But, as a matter of fact, it is often the very opposite. You never see more impatience, and harshness, and sullenness, and sourness than you see in some fathers.
H. A. IRONSIDE (1876-1951): Fathers are more inclined to become impatient and unduly harsh and unkind with their children.
ALEXANDER WHYTE: Why is that so, I wonder?
JOHN GILL: As heads of families, they are apt to be too severe, as mothers are apt to be too indulgent.
MARTYN LLOYD-JONES (1899-1981): It seems to be the besetting sin of mankind and one of the most terrible results of man’s fall, that there is nothing difficult as to maintain a balance. In correcting one thing we go to such an extreme as to find ourselves in an equally dangerous position.
MATTHEW POOLE (1624-1679): Indeed, Paul seems more strictly to guard fathers against a mal-administration of their power, and to engage them to lay aside rigour in their government.
MATTHEW HENRY (1662-1714): Though God has given you power, you must not abuse that power, remembering that your children are pieces of yourselves; and therefore ought to be governed with great tenderness and love. Be not impatient with them, use no unreasonable severities and lay no rigid injunctions upon them. When you caution them, when you counsel them, when you reprove them, do it in such a manner as not to “provoke them to wrath”…So also, “ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife, loveth himself,” Ephesians 5:28. They must love them with tender and faithful affection, as Christ loved the church—“And be not bitter against them,” Colossians 3:19. They must not use them unkindly, with harsh language or severe treatment, but be kind to them.
ADAM CLARKE (1760-1832): Severity will hurt your own souls, and do them no good.
CHARLES BRIDGES (1794-1869): Discipline in the spirit of love, and enforced by example, is God’s honoured ordinance—forbearance and forgiveness will therefore take the place of resentment and malice—the tremendous passions of jealousy and rage shut out all forgiveness.
MATTHEW HENRY: We cannot do it without God.
ALEXANDER WHYTE: Let every silent, sulky, churlish father watch and examine the working of his own heart till he understands and overcomes this monstrosity in himself. It is against nature. But it cannot be denied that it is very common. It is not for nothing that Paul gives to fathers this somewhat startling counsel, not to provoke their children to wrath. The apostle must often have sat at tables where the children were incessantly corrected and rebuked and exasperated. He must often have seen all-but-innocent children nagged and worried into actions, the whole blame of which he laid on their fathers and their mothers.
ADAM CLARKE: If punished with severity or cruelty, they will be only hardened and made desperate in their sins. Cruel parents generally have bad children.
JOHN CALVIN (1509-1564): Unreasonable severity excites hatred, and would lead them to throw off the yoke altogether. Writing to the Colossians, he adds, “lest they be discouraged.”
MATTHEW HENRY: Let not your authority over them be exercised with rigour and severity, but with kindness and gentleness, lest you raise their passions and by holding the reins too tight make them fly out with greater fierceness. The bad temper and example of imprudent parents often prove a great hindrance to their children and a stumbling-block in their way.
MATTHEW POOLE: Paul allows not parents to do that which has a direct tendency to irritate the passions of their children merely for their own pleasure, without a principal regard to God’s glory, and their children’s profit, Hebrews 12:10.
ALEXANDER WHYTE: Treat your children, as your Father treats you. For His name is merciful, and gracious, and long-suffering, and slow to wrath. Command your temper towards your children.
RICHARD CECIL (1748-1810): When they do right, make a point of praising them openly; and when they do wrong, reprehend them secretly.
JOHN CALVIN: Kind treatment has a tendency to cherish their reverence for parents, and increase the cheerfulness and activity of their obedience. To guard them, however, against the opposite and frequent evil of excessive indulgence, he adds, in the instruction and reproof of the Lord. It is not the will of God that parents, in the exercise of kindness, shall spare and corrupt their children. Let their conduct towards their children be at once mild and considerate, so as to guide them in the fear of the Lord, and correct them also when they go astray.
MARTYN LLOYD-JONES: We cannot fail, once more, to be impressed by the wonderful balance of scriptural teaching.
ADAM CLARKE: He who corrects his children according to God, and reason, will feel every blow on his own heart more sensibly than his child feels it on his body.
MATTHEW HENRY: Bring them up well, in the discipline of proper and compassionate correction, and in the knowledge of that duty which God requires of them and by which they may become better acquainted with Him.
ROBERT HAWKER (1753-1827): Behold a pious parent encircled by his little family, to whom he is recounting the LORD’s gracious dealings with his soul. Reader! picture a father, thus engaged; then ask whether the blessing of the LORD must not rest upon such households!
C. H. SPURGEON (1834-1892): The Lord has a most gracious way of making families to be full of comfort and peace, when those families walk in His fear—but when there is sin in the head of the household, there comes disorder in the family, the departure of the divine blessing, and all goes awry.
