1 Peter 3:1,7; Ephesians 5:33
Ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands…Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
JEREMY TAYLOR (1613-1667): Mutual respect is a duty of married life; for though especial respect is due from the wife, yet respect is due from the husband also.
C. H. SPURGEON (1834-1892): Marriage necessitates certain mutual relations. I cannot say “duties,” for the word seems out of place on either side.
JOHN ANGELL JAMES (1785-1869): They are united to be companions; to live together, to walk together, to talk together. They should be helpful to each other in the concerns of personal religion―where both spouses are real Christians, there should be the exercise of a constant reciprocal solicitude, watchfulness, and care, in reference to their spiritual and eternal welfare. One of the ends which every true believer should propose to himself, on entering the marriage state, is to secure one faithful friend, at least, who will be a helpmate for him in reference to the eternal world, assist him in the great business of his soul’s salvation, and that will pray for him and with him; one that will affectionately tell him of his sins and his defects, viewed in the light of a Christian; one that will stimulate and draw him by the power of a holy example, and the sweet force of persuasive words; one that will warn him in temptation, comfort him in dejection, and in every way assist him in his pilgrimage to the skies. The highest end of the marital state is lost, if it be not rendered helpful to our piety; and yet this end is too generally neglected, even by professors of religion.
A. W. PINK (1886-1952): That verse inculcates family worship, the husband and wife praying together. Further, it teaches that their treatment of one another will have a close bearing upon their joint supplications, for if domestic harmony does not rule—what unity of spirit can there be when they come together before the Throne of Grace?
D. L. MOODY (1837-1899): If a man doesn’t treat his wife right he needn’t pray. It is all a farce, you know. “The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to God; but the prayer of the upright is His delight,” Proverbs 15:8. If sacrifice is an abomination to God do you tell me that the prayers of a man or woman who is not living right is not an abomination to God?
JOHN TRAPP (1601-1699): Jarring will make them leave praying, or praying leave jarring.
MATTHEW HENRY (1662-1714): All married people should take care to behave themselves so lovingly and peaceably one to another that they may not by their broils hinder the success of their prayers.
H. A. IRONSIDE (1876-1951): What a test this is! When husband and wife can kneel and pray together with joy and confidence, the home will be what God desires; but there is something radically wrong when their actions hinder this communion with each other and the Lord.
JOHN ANGELL JAMES: We should all enter the married state, remembering that we are about to be united to a sinful person―and it is not two angels that have met together, but two sinful people, from whom must be expected much weakness and selfishness. We must expect some imperfection in our spouse. Remembering that we ourselves have no small share of sinfulness, which calls for the forbearance of the other party, we should exercise the patience that we ask from them. Where both have infirmities, and they are so constantly together, innumerable occasions will be furbished, if we are eager or even willing to avail ourselves of the opportunities for those contentions, which, if they do not produce a permanent suppression of love, lead to its temporary interruption. Many things we should overlook, others we should pass by with an unprovoked mind, and in all things most carefully avoid even what at first may seem to be an innocent disputation. Love does not forbid, but actually demands that we should mutually point out the faults of our spouses; but this should be done in all the meekness of wisdom united with all the tenderness of love, lest we only increase the evil we intend to remove, or substitute a greater one in its place.
JEREMY TAYLOR: Let man and wife be careful to stifle little irritations—that as fast as they spring, they be cut down and trod upon; for if they be allowed to grow by numbers, they make the spirit peevish, and the relationship troublesome, and the affections loose and uneasy, by all habitual annoyance. Some men are more vexed with a fly than with a wound; and when the gnats disturb our sleep, and the reason is disturbed, but not perfectly awakened, it is often seen that he is fuller of trouble than if in the daylight of his reason he were to contest with a potent enemy. In the frequent little incidents of a family, a man’s reason cannot always be awake; and when his discourses are imperfect, and a trifling trouble makes him yet more restless, he is soon betrayed to the violence of passion. It is certain that the man or woman are in a state of weakness and folly then, when they can be troubled with a trifling accident; and therefore it is not good to vex them when they are in that state of danger. In this case, the caution is, to subtract fuel from the sudden flame; for stubble though it be quickly kindled, yet it is as soon extinguished, if it be not blown by a pertinacious breath, or fed with new materials. Add no new provocations to the incident, and do not inflame this, and peace will soon return, and the discontent will pass away soon, as the sparks from the collision of a flint—ever remembering that discontents proceeding from daily little things, do breed a secret indiscernible disease, which is more dangerous than a fever proceeding from a discerned notorious malady.
JOHN WESLEY (1703-1791): All sin hinders prayer; particularly anger. Anything at which we are angry is never more apt to come into our mind than when we are at prayer; and those who do not forgive will find no forgiveness from God.
JOHN CALVIN (1509-1564): God cannot be rightly called upon, unless our minds be calm and peaceable. Among strifes and contentions there is no place for prayer. Peter indeed addresses the husband and the wife, when he bids them to be at peace one with another, so that they might with one mind pray to God.
WILLIAM JAY (1769-1853): How necessary is prayer in the marriage state.
JOHN TRAPP: Praying together, apart from others, being taken up by married couples, will much increase and spiritualize their affection one to another.
C. H. SPURGEON: Marriage is cemented by mutual love.
WILLIAM JAY: Go hand in hand into His presence: Agree, touching the things you shall ask, and it shall be done for you of our heavenly Father.
