2 Samuel 18:32,33; 2 Samuel 19:1-8
And the king said unto Cushi, Is the young man Absalom safe? And Cushi answered, The enemies of my lord the king, and all that rise against thee to do thee hurt, be as that young man is. And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!
And it was told Joab, Behold, the king weepeth and mourneth for Absalom. And the victory that day was turned into mourning unto all the people: for the people heard say that day how the king was grieved for his son. And the people gat them by stealth that day into the city, as people being ashamed steal away when they flee in battle. But the king covered his face, and the king cried with a loud voice, O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!
And Joab came into the house to the king, and said, Thou hast shamed this day the faces of all thy servants, which this day have saved thy life, and the lives of thy sons and of thy daughters, and the lives of thy wives, and the lives of thy concubines; in that thou lovest thine enemies, and hatest thy friends. For thou hast declared this day, that thou regardest neither princes nor servants: for this day I perceive, that if Absalom had lived, and all we had died this day, then it had pleased thee well. Now therefore arise, go forth, and speak comfortably unto thy servants: for I swear by the LORD, if thou go not forth, there will not tarry one with thee this night: and that will be worse unto thee than all the evil that befell thee from thy youth until now. Then the king arose, and sat in the gate.
MARTIN LUTHER (1483-1546): Ah! How sorrowful and perplexed a man was David. The very words denote that his grief of heart was excessive.
PATRICK DELANY (1686-1768): I confess, it is to me utterly unaccountable, from any other principle than the sad and shocking reflection of Absalom having died with all his sins upon his head, and gone down quick to perdition.
THOMAS COKE (1747-1814): There is something astonishing in this excess of grief for such a reprobate. The affection of parents is, doubtless, extremely strong. The sins, nay, the ingratitude of children cannot root it from their hearts; and they who fear God, are then most reasonably inconsolable, when their children are engaged in a course of sin, and they see them die in a state of condemnation.
EDWARD PAYSON (1783-1827): It is probable also, that the anguish occasioned by this heartrending thought, was aggravated by the reflection, that in consequence of having neglected to restrain and correct his son in early life, he had been indirectly the cause of his ruin. Hence his bitter cries; hence especially his wish that he had died in his son’s stead. He was himself prepared for death; therefore, it would have been to him a comparatively trifling evil, and he hoped that, had Absalom lived, he might have repented of his sins, and become prepared for death.
MATTHEW HENRY (1662-1714): I wish I could see reason to think that this arose from a concern about Absalom’s everlasting state, and that the reason why he wished he had died for him was because he had good hopes of his own salvation, and of Absalom’s repentance if he had lived. It rather seems to have been spoken inconsiderately, in a passion, and it was his infirmity.
THOMAS MANTON (1620-1677): Absalom was the greater curse to David because he loved him too much. Inordinate longings make the affections miscarry.
MATTHEW HENRY: David is to be blamed for showing so great a fondness for a graceless son only because he was handsome and witty, while he was justly abandoned both of God and man. And for quarrelling, not only with divine providence, in the disposals of which he ought silently to have acquiesced, but with divine justice, judgments of which he ought to have adored and subscribed to—see how Bildad argues “If thy children have sinned against him, and he have cast them away in their transgression,” thou shouldst submit, “for doth God pervert judgment?” Job 8:3,4.
THE EDITOR: When fire went out from the LORD in judgment, to consume Aaron’s sons, Nadab and Abihu, “Aaron held his peace,” Leviticus 10:1-3. But David’s inordinate affection was similar to Jacob’s love for Benjamin: “His life is bound up in the lad’s life,” Judah said about Jacob, when Joseph insisted that Benjamin remain in Egypt, “and it shall come to pass, that when he seeth that the lad is not with us, that he will die,” Genesis 44:30,31. Now Jesus said, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment,” Mark 12:30. Then He quoted Leviticus 19:18—“And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself,” Mark 12:31. The danger is in reversing that order, to put the love of our neighbour before our love of God. Remember what God told David? “I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour”—it’s the same Hebrew word that is used in Leviticus 19:18—and that “neighbour,” was David’s son.
CHARLES SIMEON (1759-1836): We are to admit no rival into our bosom. The creature indeed may be loved by us, in subserviency to Him; but He must possess our supreme regards, and be served on all occasions with the utmost energies of our souls. Nothing is for a moment, or in the slightest possible degree, to alienate our affections from Him, or in any respect to divide them with Him—He will not receive a divided heart: whatever we have of understanding, will, or affections, they must all be employed for Him without cessation, and without abatement.
MATTHEW HENRY: What we have over-loved we are apt to over-grieve for—in each affection, therefore, it is wisdom to have rule over our own spirits and to keep a strict guard upon ourselves when that is removed from us which was very dear to us. The penitent patient sufferer “sitteth alone and keepeth silence,” Lamentations 3:28; or rather, with Job, says, “the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taketh away; Blessed be the name of the LORD,” Job 1:21.
WILLIAM GURNALL (1617-1679): Remember what Joab said to David, taking on heavily for Absalom’s death? “I perceive, that if Absalom had lived, and all we had died this day, then it had pleased thee well.”
MATTHEW HENRY: David is to be blamed for opposing the justice of the nation, which administration as king he was entrusted with, and which, with other public interests, he ought to have preferred before any natural affection; and for despising the mercy of his deliverance, and the deliverance of his family and kingdom, from Absalom’s wicked designs, as if this were no mercy, nor worth giving thanks for, because it cost the life of Absalom.
THE EDITOR: God knew the precise nature of David’s deep spiritual cancer, and exactly how He would deal with it in His own proper time. Family was David’s heart idol, which explains his habitual reluctance to punish any family member for their crimes, including Amnon and Joab; but Absalom was the most cherished focus of David’s heart idol. See there another purpose why God visited David’s sins upon his own family: Heart idols are extremely hard to root out; if the smallest stump of it remains, it springs up again like a weed. Jacob had the same problem. His inordinate love for Rachel caused him to tolerate idolatry in his family, and God removed her because she was a spiritual snare to him, Genesis 31:32-34; Genesis 35:1-4,18,19; after Rachel’s death, Jacob transferred his inordinate affection for Rachel to Joseph, Rachel’s first child—and God took him away also, Genesis 37:3,24-28; but again, Jacob transferred that same affection to Benjamin, Rachel’s second child. So what did God do? He removed Benjamin in a manner that made Jacob willing to part with him, despite the reluctance and sorrow he felt, Genesis 42:38 to 43:14. Only then did God restore the children that Jacob had lost, as He did with Job, Genesis 45:26-28; Job 42:10. However, David was never willing to give up Absalom, no matter what. So, for David’s own good, God removed David’s cherished idol forever, by a far more painful surgery; and Joab was the sharp scalpel that God used to cut out that cancerous spiritual tumor.
MATTHEW HENRY: How plainly and vehemently Joab reproved David.
A. W. PINK (1886-1952): Sometimes God makes use of a rough hand to arouse us from our lethargy, and we should be thankful that He cares sufficiently for us to do so.
C. H. SPURGEON (1834-1892): Might we not also say to many a mother and father concerning their children, keep yourselves from idols?
